So, my baby starts Kindergarten on Wednesday, and while I’m not sad about losing my baby, (I’m a much better parent to big kids,) I’m finding myself becoming increasingly more anxious about school starting.
I thought I’d put it behind me, and now I have fourteen more years of this? (Remember, I have two kids — my math’s not that bad!)
I’m a regular ol’ cheerleader as far as T’s concerned.
“Honey, why don’t you tell the grocer, neighbor, postman what starts next week!” (Beaming with clenched smiled encouragement.)
His face lights up as he tells them all about Kindergarten, and that you only go once, and that it’s only for five-and-a-half-year-olds, and that Zip’s not old enough, because he’s only three—at which point Zip chimes in to say that he will be five some day, and that he plans to go then.
I know in my heart that he’ll do just fine, that he’s oh-so-ready for this, and that, hopefully, with steady encouragement and my best attempts at creating a stable childhood, he’ll not only succeed in school, but that he’ll actually like it.
However, it scares the living day lights out of me, because the last time I remember really liking school was sometime around the first day of second grade. It was all down hill from there.
Some years were better than others, but it was always a struggle, and then I only exacerbated the situation by taking ten years to put myself through college, which is another story.
For now, I am doing my best not to let my prejudice get in the way of this momentous occasion. It’s hard, but I think I’ve done a pretty good job of boosting his excitement without giving him unrealistic expectations.
I know that he’ll do as well as he can. I already know he’s bright, but I also know from experience that “bright” doesn’t always mean “scholarly.” With computers and the internet, kids have so many alternatives to an actual school room—if he doesn’t thrive in the classroom, I know we have lots of resources to pull from. I do, however, want him to reap the benefits of socializing with his peers, and I know lots of people who LOVE school.
We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.
Yesterday, we had one last full day at Fairyland with his best friend and cohort, who also starts Kindergarten in just a few days. All of a sudden, Tizzy came bounding up to me, with stars in his eyes.
“I saw one! I saw one!!” He cried.
“One what?” I asked, confused.
He was so excited he couldn’t tell me, but I then saw what he meant: a little girl and boy dressed up as a fairy and an elf. In that instant, I was reminded that, while he is a big boy, magic is still very much alive for him.
I’m hoping it will be for quite some time.