2010 Baby

Ten years ago, in December 1999, I was interning in the New York City Garment District, and since I only made $100 a week, I didn’t think too much to ask my boss if, on New Year’s Eve, Brad, his best friend from grade school and I could camp out in the office, which was located on the 49th floor looking out over Times Square. Amazingly enough, he said yes!

We packed up a picnic dinner, some board games, Brad’s video equipment and headed downtown. We made our way around Times Square where cold tired suckers had been corralled into holding pens since the day before. We bought some “2000” eye glasses and some horn blowers and headed up to our perch.

Throughout the evening we were visited by security guards patrolling the buildings and, from our vantage point, we could see sharp shooters scattered about the rooftops of neighboring buildings. Earlier on the street, I’d noticed that nearly one in three men inhabiting the streets had a wire in his ear. At one point, when a couple of detectives were sent to check in with us, I asked if there truly was anything to worry about. He said they’d been receiving bomb threats every thirty seconds for the previous 72 hours.

Humbling.

At around nine o’clock, my co-worker and her husband showed up at the door. While they’d originally planned on having a quiet evening at home, at eight o’clock they looked at one another and said, “What are we crazy? It’s 1999!” and hopped into a cab to come join us.

It was a pretty silly and cozy evening, more or less as if we’d decided to kick back at home with a couple of friends, but at eleven it hit us what a momentous occasion it was and what a fantastic (or crazy) spot we were in. We were joined by a couple of New York’s finest, who asked if they could join our party, because we truly were in an awesome location.

Brad had his video camera set up, zoomed in over Times Square. As the hour approached, I’ve never in my life had a greater sense of progression of time. Ten minutes to twelve, I realized that there was no turning back. We were bringing in the new century surrounded by several million people, and whatever happened at midnight we were going to be a part of it. Looking over the Square, I hugged Brad and could feel his heart pounding as the countdown lit up beneath us in giant white numbers. When the countdown reached “one,” and roaring cheer raced up from the street as the buildings surrounding us lit up in colorful explosions of fireworks and confetti sparkled like glitter as it poured over the crowds below.

Nearly a year later, in the beginning of December, we got married in New York’s City Hall, we moved back to the West Coast in the summer of 2002. We had baby Tizzy in 2004 and Baby Zip in 2005 and have spent the remainder of the decade embracing family life.

Ten years later, on the eve of the new decade, there is a Full moon, a Blue Moon and even a partial eclipse!

Tizzy woke up this morning saying, “Happy New Year! I’m so kickcited!” and I have to admit, I’m pretty excited too. My boys are at an age where they may actually stay up till midnight and remember this New Year’s.

Now that I’m no longer a new parent, and pretty moved into the role, I’m starting to feel like myself again. I’m looking forward to seeing who my boys grow into in this new decade, but also who I grow into as well.

Now, we’re off to celebrate with old friends in San Francisco, 3000 miles away from our New York post ten years ago, and, as I write this, the boys are tugging at my coat, anxious to get this evening started.

Wherever you are, and however you’re choosing to celebrate, know we’re thinking of you and wishing you a Happy and Safe New Year!

video by Brad Wise Dec. 31, 1999

Planning Ahead

Tizzy: Mom, I sure am going to miss you when I grow up.

Me: I’m hoping to still be alive when you grow up, so you won’t need to miss me.

Tizzy: No-oooh! I mean when I grow up and have my own house.

Me: Well let me tell you something. When you grow up and have your own house, you will always be welcome to come visit me.

Tizzy: Oh, that sounds very good.

Me: And, if you want to live with your brother, you can do that too.

Tizzy: That sounds like a family! A family can be a mom and a dad, and a boy and a boy, or a mom and a dad and a boy and a girl, or a mom and a dad, and a girl and a girl, or a mom and a mom and a boy and a boy, or a mom and a mom and a boy and a girl, or a mom and a mom and a girl and a girl, or a dad and a dad and a boy and a boy, or a dad and a dad and a boy and a girl, or a dad and a dad and a girl and a girl, that’s what a family looks like.

Me: Right, and you and your brother are a family, so you could live together if you want to.

Tizzy: No. I won’t want to live with my brother when I grow up.

Me: You might want to be roomates.

Tizzy: Roomates?! No I won’t need a roomate.

Me: You might want one at first.

Tizzy: No. When I grow up, I’m going to be ready to live ALL by myself.

Me: It’s pretty expensive to live all by yourself. You better start saving now.

Tizzy: I’ll just bring my piggy bank.

Who's That, You Say?

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM OUR MEN OF MYSTERY!!!

What's in Your Stocking?

Zip racing around, jumping up and down, doing headstands on the couch, twirling around the living room - anything to avoid actually going to bed...

Me: Zip? Who's coming to town?

Zip: Who?!

Me: On Friday. Who's coming to town?

Zip: Who-oo?

Tizzy: It's Santa. That's who's coming to town.

Me: Zip, how are you acting?

Zip: I'm being cu-oo-te!

Tizzy: You're going to get coal in your stocking, and a broken toy, and GUNK! Eee-hee-hee-hee-hee!

Zip: What's coal?

***

I know you've all been good this year so don't forget to try your luck on my reviews giveaway!

Just 4 more days.

Let's Just Say I Felt Like Queen For a Day!

This picture, taken by Tizzy last Easter, inspired me to join the gym. Not only was I gaining weight as opposed to losing it three years after having Zip, but people were starting to ask me if I was pregnant once again. It was this picture that explained to me why.

I haven’t written much about my experience since my initial post when I joined, but it’s been transformative for me, both in having lost twenty pounds, and in having discovered Yoga which I now do at least four times a week. It gives me an opportunity to clear my mind as well as get in shape, which in turn makes me a better mother and helps me feel more confident about myself.

Last weekend, Blogher gave me an opportunity to participate in a review that was like the grand prize for all my hard work. It involved a personal shopper, a photographer, and free clothes!

Come see my “Now Photo” on my reviews page. There’s an opportunity in the comments section for you to get some star treatment too!

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas!

We had one of those rare, as in every twenty-five years or so, California experiences Monday morning. The San Francisco Bay Area woke up to snow.

By snow I mean this:

When we first drove Brad to the BART, we noticed it on several cars. The boys and I headed to the nearby mountain which was closed to the public, and then were pleasantly surprised to find that there was still plenty in the neighborhood where Tizzy goes to school! Unfortunately it was time for class, but Zip and I found a patch that was on the side of the road and had ourselves a Snow Day.

This, as Brad calls it, is our snow squirrel:

Fortunately for Tizzy, there was still enough snow at the local college that after we picked him up, the boys got to have some more fun.

He found this giant snow ball:

And created a friend:

Checking In

I truly believed that starting this painting project the week before Halloween would mean that I'd be done well before the holidays and feeling festive and rejuvenated in my freshly painted kitchen. That was when I thought it would be a weekend project. Maybe two weekends max.

We are now on Sunday of our seventh week.

I'm hoping to lay primer down today.

It's been an interesting. It's been revealing. It's taught me a little more about who I am today, as a mom, as opposed to six years ago pre-children, or even a couple of years ago, with new children.

Where I live, the first response I get when I say that I'm painting my kitchen is, "Ooh - You're remodeling your kitchen?!" When I get a little deeper into it, the response is, "Oh, you're doing it yourself?!" When I reveal that, in fact, it's not even really my house, that we rent, people just think that I'm crazy. "Why are you doing this?!" they say. "Why doesn't the landlord do it?"

My first thought is, "The landlord did do it - Without primer!"

Truthfully, six years ago, I was still pretty concerned with what's right - what's fair. I still am, about bigger things - global things - things that don't affect me directly, but that I'm tied to indirectly. Six years into child rearing however, regarding icky mundane household jobs that nobody likes to do, I'm finding I have more of a mom stance. Life's not fair, these jobs have to be done, just do it and get it over with.

This is not to say that over the last few weekends of sanding, with paint dust covering my face, body and every surface of my house that I haven't done my share of grumbling, "Stupid landlords. Who doesn't use primer when painting over glossy paint." Or gasping, "I'm not sure I can do this anymore. Why won't this end?" But, I was reminded, in my most righteous pitying moment, that we're all human. We make mistakes, we fix them and we move on. Case in point, the day I was feeling most indignant, sure that I myself would never have been so ridiculous as to paint without primer, my neighbor called and brought to my attention that I'd forgotten to feed their cat while they were out of town. That was humbling! (For all of you animal lovers ready to drop my feed, the cat was fine. They always leave an overflowing bowl of dry food, an enormous bowl of water, and the wet food I put out is always untouched when I return to change it the next day.) I was however deeply embarrassed, but it was an honest reminder that we all make mistakes. All of us.

That phone call was also a wake up call to show me how consumed I'd become in this project. I couldn't even remember the conversation we'd had regarding them going out of town, but I knew we'd had it. That was the weekend before Thanksgiving, and that's when I knew I had to recognize that this wouldn't be done by Thursday. I had to get realistic, make room for our feast and swallow my pride and accept that my house might not be perfect but it didn't really matter. The food was great, the company even better, and conceding to good enough was very refreshing.

Considering it's now birthday season as well as the holiday season in my household, I'm having to carry this lesson with me. I'm hoping to get the painting started today, but I still have half of the sixteen cabinet doors to sand, and put back up, and it may just take a while. C'est la vie.

I used to be the queen of short cuts, so yes in fact, it could have been me, in the past, painting without primer. I also used to give up on projects that took too long, were too much hassle, convincing myself I'd get back to them another time. Now, with children, I'm learning to do things right the first time so that they don't need to be done again, and also to finish what I start. I may not like it, it may be hard, but it needs to get done. But, I'm also being realistic about my expectations of perfection. The molding will not be perfectly stripped and sculpted. Reminding myself that it must come to an end, I also remind myself that this paint job is going to be great compared to the last and it's an old house. It'll have glitches, the important part is that it sticks.

Last and not least, I've learned a lot about my family. Children are resilient. They don't really care that the functional kitchen is now in the living room. They just skip around it. They do however care about whether they're getting enough attention. I've had to take major breaks from my hyper focus to make sure that I read to my kids, swing them on the swing. I've learned (what I already more or less knew) that Brad is not a handy man. Just looking at the paint scraper makes him anxious, but he is a phenomenal father and has taken the boys out all weekend, every weekend for the last six weeks and shown them a great time. What I'm most looking forward to after all this is getting to actually join them. They've been exploring the creeks near our house and having an amazing time.

Last but not least, I've been really putting my yoga practice to the test, something that I haven't talked about much since May, but that I've really immersed myself in over the past several months. It's helping me with patience, endurance and strength. Throughout this project I have been repeating the words of my teacher, that we can't fully appreciate our successes without putting in the effort. (But even she says there's a point when enough is enough.)

O.K. Back to my painting, but, before I go, I just want to add that I did break away for a few hours yesterday to be VERY, very, spoiled! I'll tell you more about that later this week...

Hope the rest of you are healthy and well and enjoying the holiday season. Please be good to yourselves and give yourself a break if you need to. Others will appreciate all you do for them this season, but they will also be happy with good enough.

XO